Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
