is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You can't just leave with hair like that
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
