she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
