i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
