that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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