does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
