I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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