i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
