i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize