so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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