THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
