All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
