well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
