Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Randomize
