Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
