Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
