Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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