you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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