He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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