I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
