They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
