you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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