I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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