ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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