found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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