Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Floor bacon is actually really good
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
