i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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