Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
