She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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