I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
