Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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