Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She even gives head with a lisp.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
