Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
