He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
