Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
