fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
