We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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