I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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