He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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