i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You are a genius and a whore.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
