Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
