Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
