I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
