Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
