What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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