He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
