I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
