If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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