the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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