I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
