i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
