Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
