Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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