I'm sorry my penis didn't work
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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