I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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