I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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