She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
