Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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