why do cheetos always look like penises
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
