I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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