then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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