can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
