Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
