if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
