Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
