For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
