Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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