and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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