I'm drive I can fine osifer
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
